Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Space Story

I have mentioned earlier about my longing for space this year. For time to be free and not to have appointment after appointment after appointment booked in.

I'm glad to say that 2 and a bit weeks in, and so far this year is seeing me hold my ground with space - I've given up teaching 2 classes so I have time to a) sleep, and b) rest. Resting is so important, especially when you're not firing on all engines!

But more than that, I'm finding space in the way of boundaries. I was chatting with my dear best friend this week when she said, "I think people can tell when you're a pushover" or words to that effect. Both she and I are people pleasers, which in itself is not a bad thing. I think making people smile, and being helpful, and generous with spirit to others, is an oh-so-beautiful thing.

But when people pleasing turns us into pushovers, or more aptly, people who will put their own needs behind the needs and desires of others, well that is where the issues arise. That is where we get fatigued and tired for lack of listening to our bodies, and putting our rest first.

That place is where we struggle in relationships, for lack of giving them the priority that both our loved ones AND ourselves deserve.

That place is where we continually say 'yes' to others, in order to be nice to them, but we forget about ourselves, we put ourselves out, and put ourselves 2nd or worse, last.

That place of SPACE and boundaries is a beautifully enriching, nourishing and nurturing place.

But lets's be honest - often it'll be damn uncomfortable at first. We can feel GUILTY when we don't drop everything for others (especially when we've spent our lives doing it). We can feel SHAME for not being able to do everything for everyone like we've always done. We can feel like we're LETTING DOWN others when we recognise that we are worthy, simply by being, not by doing things for them or others.

I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?

If you don't rest, you won't have energy to please other peeps OR yourself. If you don't give yourself time to be, you're just really existing and running from one thing to the next without smelling the roses that are in your everyday moments.

But obvious isn't always easy. Simple, perhaps. Easy, probably not.

Thank god then, that life is all about just making our way through the days, picking up again each morning and starting again. Breathing through it, feeling our feet on the floor, and placing one foot in front of the other. Lucky then, that we just keep going, day at a time.

From me to you, here's hoping you have a year full of SPACE, of BOUNDARIES, of knowing YOU ARE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT, just as you are, and that's all we can ask for :)


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